This is not my beautiful house!

no, the new carpet that was supposed to be installed today but won't be until tomorrow (something about needing to glue the tack boards instead of nailing them to the concrete), that carpet, sitting in the garage, still wrapped in plastic, isn't my beautiful carpet. the vehicle i borrowed to go the library tonight to confirm my non-profit meeting room reservation (borrowed because my car has finally decided to stop running) isn't my beautiful car. i didn't purchase half of the clothes i usually wear. someone else buys most of the food i eat. i'm a single, thirty-one year old man, living in my parents' basement.

oh pity me!

no doubt i find myself in my current circumstances due to my own laziness in school, my poor interviewing and networking skills, the fact that i'm short and overweight, lack a degree in engineering, and have poorly aligned teeth. i'm sure my former professors, employers and ex-girlfriends can add to the list.

the problem is that i neither know what to do about all that, nor do i much care to go about rectifying any of it at this point. on the one hand, a nice, high-paying job in a firm would mean financial security. a government position in the patent office could mean job security (and working in dc might even translate to different dating prospects, though that's hardly a given). shoot, just having an apartment or some other living quarters to call my own could improve my social standing.

there are all kinds of bright new worlds out there waiting for little old me.

i just don't want to be a part of them (now, here i might quote ivan karamazov about tickets and the gate to heaven, but honestly, if you're reading this, you know quite well where i'm going, even if i refuse, for reasons of literary style, in this blog, to ever get there).

let's just take a peek into the future, though, out of pure curiosity, or, in my case, boredom. someday, the owners of this beautiful house will be gone. who knows, though. perhaps i'll be gone by then, too.